a numb skull in the mirror


 "Inhale the future, exhale the past."
  - Note-on-anonymous-fridge

That's nearly 2 weeks I put on 10 years
 and a few toxic bit.ter kilos.
"Ombudsman" in town to meet anyone but me: 
 more loneliness-without-holiness patience 
 to experience, no choice.
Quiet and efficient for short life ways too,
 the shame to be so shamed, but it's 
 best to live on.
Part of what is 'me' is sleeplessly
 dying to be able to keep on living
 without my beating heart becoming
 a.not.her hard disillusioned chickpea.

 "Holding on to anger is like drinking 
  and expecting the other person to die."
  - The Buddha (seemingly)
Beyond this smacking wave, again,
 a soothing ocean of wise compassion
 is looked for before there is no 'me' left 
 to feel and taste.
Numbness can't be tranquility and peace
 in the palace of the open blue sky.


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